Today is our Jessica’s 6th birthday!! Her birthday is a very special time. As it has approached, I have been thinking a great deal about how immensely blessed we are to have her in our family.
Her adoption became legal shortly after her third birthday, although in our hearts she’d been our daughter all along. Jessica was two weeks old when she was placed with us as an adoptive placement. Just two weeks later, DFS informed us that they had changed the case goal to reunification with a birth parent. In my heart, I was already her mama and fear filled me from the top of my head to the tips of my toes. Every morning for three years, I woke up hoping and praying it was all a bad dream. The whole story is very long and complicated. We eventually filed for adoption. It was supposed to be a slam dunk, but DFS had made mistakes and we were devastated when our petition was denied by the court. Jessica was turning two at the time. When she was 2 1/2 we lost her, after a long spring and summer of five-day-a-week visits. It was horror and anguish. After being gone for exactly one month, she was returned home, one day after I gave birth to Elaina! Twin miracles! Six months later our second adoption petition was granted!!!!!
I think at times in our lives, we must stop and remember what the Lord has done and build an altar of remembrance.
My faith was majorly stretched, during those three years. I had to trust that she was in His hands, that He loved her more than I, and that His plans for her were good and that nothing could thwart His plan. I do believe there was a MAJOR spiritual battle over Jessica. It was exhausting. I am so thankful that the Lord sent people to hold my arms up, just like with Moses. I want to thank each one of you who prayed. We know now, better than before, that prayer is a powerful weapon that God has given us.
If you are in a valley right now, do not give up! Do not quit! Do not sit down! Keep walking, until you walk out of the valley. The Lord will make a way for you. Ask Him for scriptures to stand on. I wrote these out and hung them in a frame over Jessica’s bed: Proverbs 21:30, Proverbs 19:21 and Proverbs 16:4a. When we had Jessica dedicated to the Lord, I picked out Jeremiah 29:11 for her cerificate. When I got the certificate it had Jeremiah 29:11-14 typed out. I didn’t realize that the Lord was giving me a promise that she would leave and return to us!
“Although I did not physically give birth to you, I labored and suffered for three years. Oh, how you were worth it all! You are my joy, born of faith and hope and prayer and suffering. I have my miracle, my Jessica Faith!”
When the Lord brought back the captives to Zion, we were like men who dreamed. Our mouths were filled with laughter, our tongues with songs of joy. Then it was said among the nations, “The Lord has done great things for them.” The Lord has done great things for us, and we are filled with joy. Restore our fortunes, O Lord, like streams in the Negev. Those who sow in tears will reap with songs of joy. He who goes out weeping, carrying seed to sow, will return with songs of joy, carrying sheaves with him. Psalm 126